You remember the scene from National Lampoon’s Vacation, don’t you? Clark and Rusty Griswold on the dealership lot, trying to figure out where Clark’s “Antartic Blue Super Sports Wagon with the C.B. and optional rally fun pack” is while Ed, the ever-friendly and completely saccharine salesman, does everything in his willpower to shove the father and son duo into a rolling affront to everything human and decent in this world. After taking one look at the Metallic Pea-colored travesty, you can understand Clark’s frustration. But what did the Super Sports Wagon actually look like? It’s obvious that Vacation was set in the early 1980s, the Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser that got flattened into a pancake for that joke said so. But it’s still pretty hard to not envision a car like this 1969 Chevrolet Chevelle Greenbriar station wagon sitting on the lot, looking like a million bucks while surrounded by all that malaise.
A long road trip with the family? Well, it makes ordering the 300 horsepower 350 look like a smart decision, doesn’t it? Enough power to be punchy, not enough to be worried about fuel economy. The automatic will spare your left leg from clutch duty, and surely the full gauge pack can constitute being part of the “rally fun pack”. It’s got air conditioning, but a sharp eye will note that those are not factory GM vents…that’s an aftermarket Vintage Air setup, so have no fear about the A/C not working. Everything else is as you’d hope: front and rear sway bars, the sport steering wheel, power steering, power front disc brakes, dual pipes, tunes, great American Racing wheels on BFGoodrich T/As, and just to add that nice bit of icing on this sweet slice of perfection, the dual-action tailgate that is all the rage among the wagon elite, painted in LeMans blue, ready for you.
Honestly, if this was the car that was supposed to be on the lot, and we were Clark, that infamous meltdown moment would’ve happened the moment we saw what was going on. Ed the car salesman wouldn’t know what hit him.