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Yeah, That Seems Safe: Who Wants A 450 Horsepower Geo Metro?

Yeah, That Seems Safe: Who Wants A 450 Horsepower Geo Metro?

Well, would you just look at it…what a cute little murderous gumdrop. It certainly isn’t what you’d expect from the lowly little Geo Metro, now, is it? Metros have a solid place in the automotive world: They are the only non-hybrid that can not only compete, but can even best some of the most techno-laden machines out there. Driven as if there is an egg under the gas pedal, you could feasibly see MPG figures in the mid-40s, and even if you caned it to hit that 13.8 second 0-60 MPH time, you’d still see respectable fuel mileage. It might be the ONLY trick that a Metro has, but it’s a welcome one, and we can at least explain our way out of owning a Metro…unlike, say, a Prius.

Now, if you somehow missed the Roadkill-esque hoodscoop and didn’t figure out that something serious has happened to this fallen Christmas ornament, then let us direct your attention to the front wheel hubs. Count ’em…five lug nuts. That’s one more than what came stock on a Geo, which is verified when your eyes double-check the rear wheels. What gives? Check this out:

geo2All we know from the listing is that it’s a 2.2 EcoTec four-cylinder, like what you’d find in a Chevrolet Cobalt, but this little bastard supposedly has a dyno-verified 450 horsepower claim to it’s name. Makes us wonder if it’s really one of the two Cobalt SS 2.4L mills, but regardless of what the hell this engine is…it’s a 450 horsepower Geo Metro that is putting power down at the front wheels and is usually trailing a long, drawn out “OH MY GOD” behind it. Again, the ad points out as much. Quote: “Very fast, but not much fun for daily driving.”

All we are going to say: If you can’t have fun in this car, you’re doing it wrong.

Craigslist Link: 1996 Geo Metro three-door


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