After a wreck at Bristol that left two NASCAR veterans wounded and hospitalized during a “legends race” the series has taken an interesting approach to preventing a similar outcome in the future. Brian France announced that the series would be sponsored by Pride Jazzy, makers of the Pride Jazzy mobility vehicle for senior citizens. Racers will actually compete on Pride Jazzy machines at the races. More specifically they will race the “Pride Jazzy of Tomorrow”.

France told reporters, “We need to showcase the history of our sport and there’s no better way to do it than to turn the racers of yesterday loose on the track with the technology of today.” He continued, “The folks at Pride Jazzy were very skeptical at first and frankly, so were we. Then I took one of these babies for a quarter of a lap at Talladega and we were sold. Why only a quarter of a lap? Well, the batteries died, but we’re working on that.”

Looking to recapture the wild days of innovation that marked the 1960s and early 1970s, NASCAR has left the rule book thin for the series. Freshly appointed director of Pride Jazzy competition Glen Wood said, “These boys are able to do just about anything they want to the vehicle, um, it is considered a vehicle right? Word is, Junior Johnson has one of these things modified with marine deep cycle batteries and a couple motors from Tesla roadsters.”

David Pearson will be driving for Johnson, presumably wearing his loafters like back in the days of yore. 

Racers will be required to pit at least twice during each race to change diapers, er, tires. NASCAR is perfecting the “Jazzy of Tomorrow” chassis and it should begin testing in early April.