Junking your crappy old mini-van is a good idea. Towing that van to the junkyard is a fine thought as well. Doing so with a rope tied around the windshield of the van while you and your friend ride in it is freaking dumb. Having an idiot boyfriend who managed to so violently yank said rope that it snapped, causing it to chop your arm off, well that’s just poetic, isn’t it? We feel bad for this lady but it is hard not to consider this whole situation and not simply shake your head at the galactic levels of dumb involved. 

According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, Helen Foster, the owner of the van was riding in the passenger seat while her friend, and obviously accomplished driver, Melinda Adamski had the tiller. Up front providing the dual role of tow truck driver and jackass arm chopper-offer, was 30-year old Clifton Hoover. We mention his age because if this was a 16-year old kid, we’d at least think he didn’t know better, but a 30 year old guy? Wow.

Somehow, the two drivers got out of synch and the truck managed to really yank on the “braided rope” being used as the link between the tower and towee. When the rope snapped and recoiled inside the van (yep, Clifton was spared any injury), it chopped Fosters arm off like a Samauri sword. Adamski was quoted as saying, “It was the craziest thing I have ever seen in my whole life.”

Somehow we doubt that.

The arm was jammed into ice and doctors tried to sew it back on. They’re not sure how much use Foster will get back, and it will take some time to find out. Happily, her friend Adamski is afraid to visit her in the hospital for fear of being grossed out. Seriously.

We’d say more, but there’s really nothing left to say.

(Woman’s Arm Severed by Tow Rope)