While Goodwood and Pikes Peak are on full blast, we are slaving away in the newsroom, digging through the scraps like a hungry raccoon. We are taking some of the better bits, throwing them onto the trash can lid, and bringing them inside to fry up and serve to you. This is Scrapple, and you are probably gonna want the hot sauce for it.
1. “Automotive Safety”. Uh-huh.
If you have been living under a rock for the last couple of months, let us bring you up to speed: Takata, the maker of miniature pipe bombs airbag inflators, is currently in such deep shit that their executives have taken 50% pay cuts, publicly apologized, and all the while the massive number of vehicles affected (34 million at last count) still have yet to be fixed in any meaningful numbers. Meanwhile, the NHTSA recently underwent a government audit performed by the Department of Transportation. How to put the results delicately…well, you don’t, and neither did the DOT, who actually titled the document “INADEQUATE DATA AND ANALYSISUNDERMINE NHTSA’S EFFORTS TOIDENTIFY AND INVESTIGATE VEHICLESAFETY CONCERNS.” How’s that for scary? Among highlights, vehicle fires were reduced to a “strange odor” by manufacturers in order to minimize public panic over a car that could potentially burn to the damn ground. Another one, taken straight from the report as printed: “ODI does notadequately train or supervise its staff. For example, NHTSA has a training plan forODI staff, but it has not implemented this plan. As a result, ODI’s pre-investigative staff told us they have received little or no training in their areas ofconcentration, some of which are technologically complex. Collectively, theseweaknesses have resulted in significant safety concerns being overlooked. Forexample, in June 2007, GM provided ODI with a State trooper’s report thatidentified the 2005 Chevrolet Cobalt’s ignition switch as a possible cause of air bag non-deployment during a fatal accident. However, two ODI staff whoreviewed the report in 2007 did not note this potential link when documentingtheir reviews. Additionally, ODI officials told us that at the time, they wereuncertain under what conditions the air bags were supposed to deploy.” Below is the full report (thanks to Jalopnik for the link.)
Sleep tight.
2. Ford’s new Super Duty will have more hidden cameras than a women’s changing room
Seven freaking cameras. No kidding, Ford is putting seven cameras onto the upcoming Super Duty series in order to assist with maneuvering 20′ worth of truck. We know that there is a camera system that will work with a trailer backup assist system, a camera that works with the blind-spot system, and a three-camera system that allows the driver to see nearly 180 degrees from the nose of the truck (we saw that when we tested the Ford Edge earlier this year.) Just out of curiosity for those who were of driving age in the 1970s and 1980s: how did you all drive those Mercury Marquis, Chrysler Newports and Oldsmobile 98s without killing everybody in sight?
3. Legos! Ferraris! YAY!
WHERE WAS THIS WHEN I WAS A KID?! If it’s up your alley, you better be ready when Lego starts selling the kits in August.
4. “Shoulda put a ‘Ring on it”…’cause you can’t now.
Months after Jann Mardenborough’s Nissan GT-R NISMO GT3 racer crashed at the Flugpatz corner, killing a spectator, Capricorn Group has officially banned manufacturers from running or publishing lap times from the Nurburgring Nordschliefe, as well as mandating speed limits at certain sections (which can be ignored by the World Touring Car Championship series). This was discovered when Koeingsegg attempted to run their One:1 hypercar around the ‘Ring and got rebuffed. Any guesses on where the automotive johnson-measuring contests will move to? We’ve already seen pleading for manufacturers to take it to Circuit of the Americas. At least we still have the Touristenfahrten videos to watch.
5. Dammit, Chevrolet, use your big-boy words!
This is a press release that Chevrolet actually put out, challenging people to figure out what the **** they were trying to say before they unveiled a new car. Anyone who pays the slightest attention to what Chevy has been up to could’ve guessed that is is the new Cruze, but using emoji symbols to tell the story? Really?! I actually asked friends of mine for help and one, Cody (thanks again!) managed to get close to the translation that GM released the next day. This isn’t just being “cool for the kids”, something no manufacturer has really pulled off well since the Mustang debuted, it’s worse. This is like seeing your grandfather in a flat-billed hat, an Affliction shirt underneath a letterman jacket, JNCO jeans and Timberland boots…it’s absolutely cringe-worthy. Next time, just put out a press release in English, ok? And if someone puts “LOL” in it, fire them.
Maybe I’m just not a true motorhead, I don’t know, but I never “got” the whole Ferrari or Lambo thing. I’d own that LEGO kit in a heartbeat or less, but that’s the closest I’ve ever been to interested in a Ferrari.
The redressed Cruze is looking better. The last one was a nearly line-for-line copy of the ninth-generation Toyota Corolla, just with slightly squared-off lines in a few places. I actually parked my Corolla next to one and compared notes to verify this.
Hmmn. As a former ‘ F ‘ word [ and almost a Lambo Espada ] owner three times over perhaps I can explain …. errrr … hold on a minute …. the key word here being …. Former .. so perhaps I can’t explain it after all . Suffice it to say the myth has a tendency for those with deep enough pockets to overwhelm the reality . With most that enter the cult … to paraphrase the bard Jim Morrison ..
‘ Nobody gets out of here alive ‘ … or at least not with their checkbook intact . How’d I make the escape ? A combination of a persuasive CPA and FA … and a Dutch wife with said Dutch [ read … frugal ] sensibilities … Looking back .. though some god memories were had … what a waste of finances .
The ‘ Cruze ‘ / DaeWoo pos ? Who the_____ really cares whether Chevy tries to snooker its buyers into purchasing another failed attempt to compete with Toyota … with a car designed and manufactured in Korea … and then assembled in the US ?
It is a Daewoo, isn’t it?
I thought so, but couldn’t remember if that was something I’d read somewhere or just made up.
I’ve gotta say, if you don’t like Ferraris and Lambos and you drive a Corolla, unless it’s an AE86, then no, you aren’t a true motorhead. Sorry.
Yeah, the Wheelhop Special is my boring daily-driven appliance.
It goes away this winter after my Hilux is brought back to life.
As far as Ferraris and Lambos go, they’re just a bunch of red wedges. The first car I ever loved as an old CJ7, and the car poster I had growing up was of a Rustic Green 40-series Land Cruiser, not a super car.