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“That Guy” Named Grand Marshall of Local Car Show


“That Guy” Named Grand Marshall of Local Car Show

“That guy”, the annoying know-nothing who claims to know it all about cars has been named the grand marshall of a local car show. The honor was not lost on “that guy” and he took plenty of time to expound on his already “vast”  knowledge of cars.”I haven’t been this happy since the day I picked up my Pontiac that was loaded with a “big block” 350,” he said. When several Pontiac enthusiasts piped up and tried to correct “that guy” he told them that they had no clue as to what they were talking about. His explanation that the Oldsmobile 400 an Pontiac 400 were the same engine aside from the color they were painted at the factory was met with cat calls from enthusiasts, which “that guy” laughed off.

During his speech he let the crowds know about his late 1970’s Camaro, which was equipped with a 454 and a four speed, from the factory, and was capable of running 200mph. “I’m not going to lie to you people today,” he said. “The front end of my 1978 Camaro got pretty light at 180mph and above.” When pressed on what rear gear ratio was in the car “that guy” repeated the phrase, “4-11 posi” multiple times to himself in hushed tones.

Not wanting to leave the four wheel drive crowd out of the mix, “that guy” swapped several stories of buying an army Jeep, “still in the shipping crate” from an Army/Navy store and giving lots of details on the Jeep. “I could pop wheelies all day long in that Jeep,” he said.

By the time he stopped speaking much of the audience had dispersed and vacated the show premesis. After seeing this, “that guy” got back in his Camry and drove home, vowing to “completely dominate” his evening session of playing Forza 4. 

 


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