You would think that within a year’s timeframe, that I would’ve seen it all, right? That nothing could surprise me any more inside the walls of a parts store than what I’d already seen? NOPE! There is no stopping the fun at good old [insert store name here]…if the customers come in, if sales are being made, then I will not run out of stuff to write about. Good news for you, job security for me. And even if it’s a slow day at the store, there’s always my friends the mechanics and the dealership techs to help me out with some of the most random attempts at “fixing” the car possible.

First and foremost, I am glad to report that the store I worked for did amazingly well this year in sales. New Year’s Eve they had what’s considered a top 10% sales day…translated, it means that everybody and their mother made a run for parts knowing that they would have all of National Hangover Day (January 1st) to fix their car. They will never know that I’m congratulating them, of course, and I’ll never admit which store, but I stopped in and talked with Store Manager and said it in person, so I feel better, at least. I did notice while I was there that there were brake drums for an International 4900 in the back. Those are new. Guess the “I’m going to throw an alternator at someone’s head” line is getting scrapped. Just picture a large man with a bag over his head coming at you in anger with one of those held over his head? Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Now, with all of those sales, there’s bound to be the returns and the warranty claims. Take, for example, the brake components that Mr. A.J. Lemieux had the privilege of working on a few days ago:

You know what’s coming, don’t you? “These pads were making too much noise, so I used that spray-on lithium grease to quiet them down.” Yes, that’s why the brake pad looks, as Lemieux put it, like an ice-cream sandwich. If these make it to your counter, guys, just look the customer dead-square in the eyes, inform them that they are an idiot, and that a snowball in Hell has a better chance than they do getting their money back. These people drive on the same streets you do…scary thought, isn’t it? Just calmly write down the number to Just Brakes or some similar shop and tell them to be on their merry little way.

(Photos: A.J. Lemieux via Mechanic Memes)